Fear of starting

I noticed a blogger had written about a fear of finishing. I don’t think I have that problem, although there are projects I haven’t finished yet. I seem to have a fear of starting.

I get a paralysis in the planning stages. I know I have an excuse to quilt, such as a baby coming, a personal need, or a gift occasion. I look at photos, patterns, colors, and try to put something together. It could take a while as usual, or it could come together quickly which rarely happens.

I’m cautious with the first cut. I can lay out the fabric on my cutting table and KNOW what I’m going to do, but it takes so long to work up the courage to make that first cut. Once the first cut is done, it goes easily from there, but somehow that first one is SO hard to make.

I stutter with the first stitch. Okay, not the greatest choice of words but I wanted to continue the alliteration. I lined up the pieces of fabric and put quite a few together, sometimes pinning, but have to take a deep breath to start sewing.

Once I actually get going, then I can continue. I know what to do next, almost without thinking. Maybe that’s why finishing is also hard – it means I can’t avoid another beginning much longer.

A few years ago I went crazy taking photos of barns. I printed photos of barns that I had found on the internet. I set them aside because it was time to start planning a layout, block size, etc. So, I guess I could say this barn quilt (that I have yet to cut fabric for) has been in the planning stages for about 6 years.

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One response to “Fear of starting

  1. I spent 10 years thinking about a quilt called Purple Rain. I bought fabric. Then I used the fabric for something else. I finally made a quilt this year that vocalized the feeling of that imaginary quilt, even though it is only vaguely related to how I would have made it then. Until it was finished I didn’t notice that it was the actualized version of that quilt. Maybe something is holding you back from your barn quilt, some skill or a perfect fabric match that you are missing.

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